“The circumstances of the deaths always matter,” she says. Katherine Shear, director of the Center for Complicated Grief at Columbia University in New York. Those who have lost loved ones to COVID-19, as well as those who’ve experienced a death during the pandemic, are at greater risk of suffering “prolonged grief” due to the lack of traditional rituals, says Dr. "You’d think after 20 years you’d have nothing to talk about,” she says. But multiple times a day she still reaches for her phone to call Frank, yearning to speak to him for hours, as they used to do. I’m still married in my head,” she says.Ĭrew Dunham has yet to weep for her loss. Dunham still reaches for the phone to call her husband, yearning to speak to him for hours, as they used to do. Right: Dunham, 54, kisses a stuffed animal that her late husband Frank had given her. “We always promised each other that we wouldn’t let each other die alone,” she says of her husband. Twice a week Frank Dunham would be brought to Albuquerque Heights to visit his wife. Her husband’s son was unable to care for his father and placed him in an assisted living facility nearby. Crew Dunham had moved into Albuquerque Heights in 2019-thinking it would be temporary-to get help stabilizing her seizures. He died at a VA hospital after contracting the virus at another assisted living facility. Losing a spouseĪmong those taking part in the patio ritual is Ronda Crew Dunham, 54, who lost her husband to COVID on May 10, 2020. Together they remember and grieve their isolation, fears, the loss of simple pleasures, and the death of loved ones. #ISADORA KOSOFSKY FULL#Since Lazarin passed away, McCauley takes his grief, and a toolbox full of cigarettes, to an outdoor patio where a “smokers’ club” comes together several times a day. “They had to do what they had to do.”Īccording to data from the New Mexico Department of Health, 55 residents of the facility contracted the virus and eight died. That is worse than a prison,” says McCauley. “They shut that door for 24 hours and you’re not allowed to go outside.
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